hair cuts

I've already explained how I move slow ... and as part of my coping mechanisms for that character trait I have learned that if I get an urge to do something that might be hard for me I better do it right away or else I won't do it. Sometimes this is not a good thing ...

 We have had some serious hair issues in this house. Both Daddy and son have just needed a typical cut which I always do for them. {you can see L's rat tail in a previous post while he's fixing his bike - it's genuine folks. His hair naturally creates a rat tail when it grows out. How lovely.} However, I have been scared to cut Lady-LE's hair because girls hair is a whole new ball game. So one night last week I got that feeling where I knew if I didn't do it right away then I would talk myself out of it. So I set up both kids in chairs with a movie playing and started on Lady-LE. 

I made some mistakes, but that is bound to happen with a child who was freaking out. I basically did a little bob cut, but left her hair as long as possible. Eventually I called it good, and then proceeded to cut L's hair while Lady-LE calmed down {strapped in her high chair still}. I was almost done with L when I looked over at Lady-LE and had the thought "you'd look so cute with bangs!" And that's where it all hit the fan. 

I simply couldn't stop myself, and don't know enough about hair cutting to know the rules of how to cut cute bangs {I was trying to avoid the big pie-slice wedge that is traditional}. So instead I just kept cutting, and ended up with almost the exact same hair cut I used to give L when he was this age: the bowl cut. 

Man alive I wish I had stopped myself, or just hesitated for a moment so I could plan it out. Ah, such is life. Her hair will grow fast {I'm convincing myself}, and she will forgive me. 

 By the time I was done, R was just getting home and I wanted to cry but all I could do was laugh. And boy did he laugh with me. We plunked both kids in the bath for clean-up, and it completely looked like two boys in the tub. More specifically, it looked like two versions of L: an 18-month version and a 3 year old version. We fed them some food afterwards for dinner and Lady-LE was so embarrassed she hid behind her plate for the majority of the meal. 

 Of course, the very next day she decided to be obsessed with hats.
Just my luck giving her a boy's hair cut! 

Obviously not the best picture, but just to show that when we put flowers in her hair and keep some of the bangs forward it kind of looks cute. 

 This was just yesterday - and I've gotten used to it now so it's not such a shock looking at her. I love seeing her eyes all the time, and I think she's still dang cute. But I am looking forward to growing her hair out and learning how to cut girls hair better. Any advice?? 

Not to leave L out, here is his new hair cut. Although it much less dramatic. :)

One more just for kicks - this is their favorite thing to do lately: ride bikes and push strollers. Sometimes at each other, even though I try to encourage more safe methods of playing together. I love the look on L's face even though it's out of focus. Cracks me up. 

I am grateful that kids are kids, and honestly don't care what they look like. Their only worry in the world is how to have fun. It's refreshing to know that, at least in this stage, all I have to do is keep food in their bellies and make 'em laugh and they think that I am the best. Even if I cut my daughter's hair to make her look like a boy, I am still the best mommy in the world to her right now. Thank goodness. 

random ramblings

I've been learning more about myself lately, and some of my observations are a little quirky and funny. So I'm writing them down as a random reminder to myself that it's okay to be ME. I have my own idiosyncrasies; some of which I'm content with and others I need to change. But this is me:

Does anyone else feel crazy insecure
posting a picture of just themselves?
I need someone else with me! 

-I work SLOW. Tediously slow. While sometimes it is the result of having children, there are other times when I am completely by myself and I am still slow as molasses. I like to call it "thorough" and make up excuses about "a job worth doing is worth doing right" - but in all reality, I just take my time. Every once in a while I'll have a spurt of spastic energy where I'll get tons of things accomplished all in a row. But on average, I feel no rush to all my responsibilities and I love it. While it's been frustrating at times (knowing how much I could accomplish and then still having a long list of un-done items at the end of the day), I am learning to re-set my expectations and embrace this slow stage in life. I'm positive it'll only get crazier as kids get older and more come into the picture. Right now my life is simple and slow, and I love it.

-I don't like to have dance parties with the kids unless Ryan is home. He literally is the swing to my step, and I find that I'm not near as spontaneous without him as I am with him.

-This is not new to anyone who knows me, but I am incredibly long-winded. Ask me a question, and 10 minutes later I might finally get to the answer. I just don't know the difference between "full disclosure" (which I'm a huge advocate of) and let-me-give-you-all-the-un-important-details-that-some-what-relate-to-your-question. It's an issue I've had since I could talk.

-My mind is not witty or clever anymore. {Was it ever?} You know those people who are smart, and can make those smart-jokes that are really funny? Yup. Not me.

-Cooking and eating vegetables might be my lowest priority in the kitchen. I simply don't know how to eat half the vegetables out there. Need to work on this ...

-Sewing has found a dear place in my heart. While I am not skillful or talented at it, I am learning and I completely love it. I can create beautiful things that stay beautiful. It has been a revelatory process for me.

-Scheduled "play-dates" intimidate me. There, I said it. I see their purpose, and the benefits that can result; but I get all uncomfortable when one comes up. Call it insecurity, call it 'free-spirited', whatever. I just like spontaneity and flexibility when it comes to play with friends.

-Day dreaming is quickly becoming a favorite past time of mine. I love to just sit and let my thoughts wander and see where they take me. I don't make any grand discoveries or epiphanies. I just like to have complete thoughts that resolve on their own accord, rather than being interrupted by someone else. :)

-I "personalize" my children's bad behavior too often. When L was sent home from preschool the other day with a note saying that he had to be talked to three different times about hitting and pushing other children, my initial reaction was completely self-oriented and I experienced thoughts of embarrassment, fear of others' judgments, guilt, frustration at myself, disappointment, etc. I don't get defensive about my child and his poor choices (i.e. thinking that he's such a good boy he would never do such a thing); but rather, I get defensive about how this behavior reflects my parenting (or lack-thereof) and all the implications associated with that. I need to be better at seeing the opportunity to teach rather than focusing on the judgments of others. Let's just say that we're working on it, both L and I ... and it continues to be a work in progress. Man alive do I wish I had all the answers.

-I love pinterest, but we have a love/hate relationship. We are currently on a "break" - unless it's something that I have found on my own accord and want to remember. No more mindless surfing through friends' pins and boards {at least for a little bit}. The lines of reality and some-day get blurred too easily for me; and I often feel overwhelmed by all the possibilities, or even negative about the lack of these possibilities in my life right now. I hate feeling that 'woe is me' feeling, because it is absolutely for the birds. Rather, I chose to take control of how I make myself feel - and that includes limiting outside stimuli every once in a while. TV and social media easily and frequently fall in this category. I consider it a creative cleansing for my mind. Ahhh ... and breathe.

-Last but not least: I need to get candy OUT of this house. I am learning that I have little self-control when it comes to consuming sugar. Bleh. I hate how it makes me feel, yet it is so easy to just grab another piece. I need to make it harder. Does it always have to be feast or famine for me?! I guess so until I balance out a little.

Definitely a random list, and I could probably keep going if I wanted to. Has anyone else discovered that perhaps you're not as 'normal' as you thought you were? ha! While I don't want to be normal, I do have those longings of becoming better like my dear friends and family. What is beautiful about life is knowing your own shortcomings and seeing how many people love you through them. I love my life, simply because of the beautiful people I share it with. Life is good.

my man

This picture was {probably} taken by R's dad on a family vacation in May 2005. He and I had just started talking about marriage, and I remember trying to time the 5-hour time difference between Hawaii and Washington just right so we could talk on the phone as much as possible. 

I look at this picture today, and still have that sweet, beautiful, excited feeling of love flow all over me.
That naive love that is ridiculously optimistic and always hopeful; the giddy love of wondering how on earth this someone could adore you just as much as you adore him; the focused love where even in a room with dozens of people all you can see and think about is him. 

I still feel those kinds of love - but it's even better. There's a calm love that reassures me of our commitment. It tells me that no matter what, we are there for one another and will keep trying to fully and completely give ourselves to the other person. It can get hard, but we keep trying.

I look at this picture and can feel those same feelings I had when we were engaged. His smile just pulls me in, and my heartbeat goes a little faster. My mind spins with memories of our first year together and anticipation of the things still to come. 

I love this picture. I love my man. And I love my life with him.

surprisingly fun

The beauty of moving somewhere new, is that you are prone to go places that you think will be fun only to find out that it is not what you expected. 

That happened a week or so ago with us, where I packed the kids up and drove off to a fun-sounding activity that didn't turn out like I had expected. And we were in a completely different part of town that I am unfamiliar with, so I was just in that limbo stage of "I have two kids who desperately need something to do, but what?" L helped me decide when we saw a playground nearby. Never mind that it was probably the coldest day of the month here in the Queen City, and we were freezing. But the kids loved it!

 Lady-LE especially loved being able to do her own thing - climb up the stairs, walk on the playground, go down the slides, etc. whenever and however she wanted. She is getting more into the climbing world and loves it. 

 We played on these slides almost the whole time. And we laughed a ton making up games and trying to get one another. Oh so much fun!

 And for the first time in a long time, L was totally willing to be cute for the camera. I love this boy.

 LE was not really of the same mindset. She was just focused on moving!

 This is the only smiling one I caught of her, and thankfully that long hair was out of her face. :)

I love it when something changes your plans, and you end up having way more fun than you expected. 

Sometimes the key to happiness is to have low expectations. :)