easy love

We are packing and wrapping and cleaning and packing some more to go visit family for the holidays. I have a thousand things to blog about. But as I was cleaning my camera's SD card I saw this one that Ry got of me and my girl on Sunday in our cute pea coats. It made me get all sorts of happiness in my heart, and brought a giddy smile to my face. I love this girl!

last month of the year

December sure came fast! Christmas preparations were in full swing, and R had an awesome schedule for the month that allowed him to be home every night and every weekend. It was my favorite! Although I was just talking to a friend about it, listening to her talk about how hard my life must be practically being a single parent, and I just shook it off saying that it's all I know right now in my life and really it's not that bad. Then I remembered the month of December, and told her that having dinner consistently planned, prepared, and on the table every night was the hard life and that's what everyone does! So it's all about perspective, right? 

In all seriousness, yes there are countless days when we maybe see R for an hour (and when that hour is changes every day), and I do manage the kids and the house practically by myself. And yes I can get caught up in the difficulties of that life if I allow myself to. But take a look at the bigger picture - I have a husband who is out there every single day (and has been for the past nine years) working his tail off training to learn and gain skills that will help him support and provide for our little family. He is the reason why I am able to stay home with my kids, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. He is trying his hardest to become a good doctor, and I am incredibly proud of him for the work he does. Yes the journey is long and hard, but every journey worth having is that way. And I seriously am grateful for it. 

I mean, who could not be grateful for life when they get to see this handsome little boy smiling and living life the way he does?! Yup - my life is pretty dang good. 

 Our neighborhood had a little holiday party, which included hot chocolate and cider and a hayride around the neighborhood to check out the Christmas lights. Both kids are completely in love with the lights, so we knew this was a must! We bundled up and had a great time!

 And gratefully we met up with our immediate neighbors there, which made the night just about perfect for L. It was definitely fun.

 And the next morning we had a church "breakfast with Santa." Logan totally cut his way through the line (without me even noticing!) to sit on Santa's lap. I yelled for R to run over there and take a picture quick while I stayed in line with Lady-LE so I don't even know if he said anything to Santa to not. But either way, he made it happen.

 This little lady was so curious and interested in the man with the beard, until it was our turn. I didn't have any expectations, so when she started protested I didn't mind. It's pretty traumatizing, and I get that. :)

 I added a couple new recipes for our goodie-plates this year to give to neighbors, and I must say that this recipe has become a new favorite. Found it here. You definitely need to keep them in the fridge once you make them, and hand-rolling small, sized balls is the key. So good, and really not that difficult. 

Played outside in the rain puddles one day ... and sadly looked completely white trash. Lady-LE's new fashion statement is the headband on the head, and it was a lounging-type day until we put our rain boots on, so don't judge! I love looking at these pictures and laughing at them ... I love those two kids. 

{and yes, those are my bulb tulips and daffodils coming up in the month of December. Crazy how soft and warm the ground still is! The evenings for sure get down to freezing, but the daytime warms up a ton. I'm positive that those mean squirrels ate all my tulips in the front flower bed (I put at least 50 in there), but for some reason left the daffodils and the persian buttercups I planted. I guess I'll find out in a month or so when they start blooming? ha - in the middle of winter! I don't get it!}

We went to a nearby Christmas celebration, which included the live nativity pictured below. R met us after work - hence the shirt and tie. It was beautiful, and a wonderful way to spend time together as a family. (I really am loving this schedule - we did this on a Wednesday night and R could come! YAY!)

I am grateful for the reason of the season: the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

We celebrate not only His birth, but His life, His example, and His love. 

Merry Christmas.

beautiful life

There is definitely something about Christmas that makes me nostalgic about life in general - not just the holidays of years past. I have felt this way every year; and usually it just increases my gratitude and appreciation for the important people in my life. But this year it's getting a little out of hand. Here are just a few examples:

• I specifically wait to read a friend's blog for a week or two (or three), and then gorge myself on reading, remembering, wishing, and commenting. It leaves me with a bitter-sweet feeling, and a very full heart.
• Seeing a picture of a Halloween costume on a younger brother made me tear up because L was best buddies with the older brother and I have a picture of them together years ago
• A box full of hand-me-downs came in the mail the other day from my sister. On top was a boy coat, and literally the instant I picked it up I saw him walking into our town home the day of his birthday, taking his coat off, and his little voice saying "Oh man! My coat still says 4 on it! But I'm 5 now!" and being so disappointed. And then I cried that he's not here walking into our house this year.
• While looking at a picture of my dad with one of his grandkids, I realized just how similar my face is to his - the chin, the cheeks, the nose. I definitely get my complexion, color, and freckles from my mom and think in general I look more like her (which I love). But this particular picture made me lean more towards my dad's face. Never having noticed this so much before, I cried because I am grateful that I look like him, and I miss him and my mom dearly (even though I get to see them in a month). 

Nostalgia is beautiful. Going back through memories, with the larger vision of life really helps you see the beauty in God's plan for us. Sometimes I find myself getting 'stuck' in memories, and sincerely wishing that I could relive those specific days again. 

Like being at Lake Powell the week before our wedding with Ryan's family. My father-in-law just sent us some pictures of that as a "warm memory for the cold winter" e-mail, and it made me stare at those pictures with such fascination. I have memories of that week, but I find myself wondering what my thoughts were, what I filled my days with, and how my dreams and hopes have changed through the years. According to the pictures, R and I were completely wrapped up in one another without a care in the world (as it probably should be for soon-to-be-newly-weds). Sure we knew that life is hard, and that it wouldn't always be that way. But we were enjoying the ease of our responsibilities, and I long for those days again. 

I have learned that there is danger in yearning for that idyllic past however. My memory (much like my father's) seems to naturally weed-out the negative experiences and cast a rose-colored hue to all the positive ones. While that is beautiful, and sometimes I stand in awe at those pictures in my mind, I know that typically it's not the whole truth. And I often allow myself to get carried away in that dreamland of memories more often than I should, and don't focus enough on the today as I need to. 

I know there's balance to everything in life, and I am often better in this than I am right now. Even with the challenges that R and I experience today and in this stage of our life, I find myself casting that rose-colored hue to it all. There is something sweet about the nostalgia of yesterday strengthening today. I am grateful for my memories, my experiences, my dreams of the past. They all add to and deepen my life today. And it's a beautiful life.