Last night {ahem :: a couple weeks ago} we had L-man's 5th birthday party. It was awesome, full of crazies and loudness.
I just watched the video we took of L-man blowing out the candles, and towards the end of singing "Happy Birthday" to him he looks up at me and says, "I love you, Mom." It was one of those tender, sweet moments that you have with your kids, and this one was caught on video. Watching it again just made my heart melt at the thought of this awesome little kid of ours and what he brings to our family. And for memory sake I need to write down some details of the birthday man's life.
**He is all about animals. If you have spent any time at all talking to L-man, then you would know that he is obsessed. Anything that swims in the water, walks on the land, or flies through the air he wants to know about it. We based his friend-birthday party on the PBS show
Wild Kratts, because it is literally his absolute favorite. Close second would be Disney's
Octonauts. Both shows teach you about particular animals/creatures and L-man just soaks it all up. He seriously has the best recall memory and can spat off random details and facts about any kind of animal.
**When he is trying to hide something from me (say a toy under his pillow), he has this twinkle in his eye and a sly smile slowly stretches across his face.
**L-man is definitely a boundaries guy. And what I mean by that is he thrives on rules, expectations, and parameters. Of course he has his crazy side and can be defiant for sure. Stubbornness runs in the family. But I envision his mind being made up of tiny compartments - everything in its rightful place and location. Things have to be "just so", and he really tries hard to follow rules and instructions. He loves structure, and being able to anticipate what comes next. However, the unknown doesn't scare him either. If it's something new or rare he is simply much more reserved and observant (sometimes verbally defiant, explaining what was supposed to happen). He is still willing to try it, and once he gets his bearings and feels secure then he is off and running.
**He is starting to read (with the help of
these books) and will often pull them out on his own to read a couple. He loves when someone else reads to him, but he definitely gets the wiggles fast and needs to be moving around while he listens. I tend to skip a page, mumble, or stop altogether if I think he's not paying attention; and he always surprises me with how attentive he is when I think he's not.
**Shyness almost never applies to him. He LOVES to talk and won't even wait for the invitation before he launches into a conversation with someone. Especially adults. Man alive that kid loves to get any attention from adults and will talk, talk, talk!
**For the longest time he used to say "creditor" for "predator" (as in the animal doing the hunting -- see obsession with animals above.). He would say, "such-and-such animal has camouflage so it can hide from the dangerous creditor!" Maybe about a month ago R finally went through it went him and it took some serious convincing that it started with a 'p'. And he still says "hostible" for "hospital," but I'm not ready to teach him the correct way yet. I don't need him to grow all the way up.
**His temperament can change fairly quickly between hot and cold. We go through patches where he is ultra kind, loving, and patient. And other patches when he is easily angered and explosive. I have often had to re-learn that matching his anger with my anger only makes it worse. In all honesty, the times when I have the greatest impact in shifting his anger into calmness again is when I use physical touch in a soft way. If we're in the car, I ask to hold his hand so I can correct him. If we're out and about with activities I will often find a way to wrap my arms around him to stop the bad behavior through a hug and whispers in his ear. If we're at home (and most importantly, I'm in the right mindset), then I will hug him and take him to the couch where we can cuddle together and talk. It has definitely been frightening to take an explosive, anger-boiling boy in my arms at times. But the anger diffuses surprisingly fast if I act appropriately and remember to use stern words in a soft voice.
{{In the car last week he was having a really hard time, and I reached back to rub his leg and ask for his hand. The anger turned to tears of sadness, and once the car stopped he gave me a hug and said, "When you touched me softly it made me sad that I was mad." Seriously?! My heart melted. I am grateful for the insights I get into helping him, because I often feel like I am swimming in deep water.}}
**He loves to sing any song, and still cannot find the tune. But we love it and go with it. I see small improvements, so there is hope. :)
**Pets and babies have been a recent focus for him lately. I think he needs someone little to love on. We just had a new niece born a little bit ago and he has already talked about wanting to hold the baby girl and how he's strong enough to do it all on his own.
**He readily says "I love you" to everyone in his family all day long. He even told me the other day that saying it in the morning and at night time was part of his job. Hugs are just as freely given. This kid is an intense love bug. If he does something wrong, and we handle it well on all sides, L-man is incredibly fast to say he's sorry and express love again.
**I can't remember when this started (a couple years ago??), but our bedtime routine consists of a few basic things that we move through like clock work. The last to-do item on the list, after everything else, is "Tigress." Named after the tiger on Kung Fu Panda. The kids go to their bedroom door, and run on all four legs as fast as they can to their beds. This has been hilarious to watch Lady-LE evolve between stages of walking, then crawling sideways, then backwards, and now some kind of frog hop. But L-man has been practicing this technique for years and is a professional. It is a little scary how natural he looks when he pretends to be animals and run through the grass on all fours. The word graceful almost comes to mind; and then I shake the thought and just laugh at how much he loves to be an animal. :)
**He always gives me thumbs-up or the "I love you" sign if we're across the field, room, or yard from each other. His eyes just light up when our eyes make contact and we give one another our 'secret' signs.
Oh man I love you big guy! What a special blessing you are in our family, and a fantastically rough loving big brother. Thank you for being you!
